


Ydris Gets Drunk

by Burgie



Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 16:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18123557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: Astor and Ezra take Ydris out for his stag's night. This, as it turns out, is a terrible idea. Astor, Izzy and Jay belong to SpaceUnicornDot, Daine belongs to HellishSam, Willow belongs to willownorthbook, and Louisa belongs to me.





	Ydris Gets Drunk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HellishSam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HellishSam/gifts).



According to human tradition, it was normal for the groom-to-be to have a night of fun the night before their wedding. Personally, Ydris disagreed with this tradition, not least because he wasn't giving up his freedom to marry Daine, he wanted this just as much as Daine did. But Ezra and Astor had insisted, and so Ydris now found himself sitting across from a hulking Pandorian who had chosen to have his purple lion’s mane on full display. Astor, the smaller, more human-looking man, sat beside his husband, holding what looked for all intents and purposes to be a gem-studded, rune-engraved golden goblet. Ezra also held a goblet, while Ydris held a glass of wine that looked small by comparison.

"Go ahead, drink it," said Ezra, a smile touching his lips. Ordinarily, Ydris didn't let anyone tell him what to do but, well, Ezra scared him. So, though he still wasn't sure about this, Ydris put the glass to his lips, taking a sip. It was a Silverglade vintage wine, so it was supposed to be good. And it did look, taste, and smell very nice. Ydris swallowed his mouthful, licking his lips.

"Well?" Astor asked, leaning forward.

"I like wine," said Ydris, taking a larger sip. He closed his eyes as he did, so he missed the grin that Astor and Ezra shared.

"This isn't much of a party yet," said Astor as he looked around the room. They were sitting in the living room of his house, the two older men in armchairs side by side with their hands touching. "Let's take this elsewhere, shall we?" As he spoke, he linked elbows with Ezra.

"Where to?" Ezra asked. They looked at Ydris.

"Well, breadstick, do you know of any good bars? Have any favourites?" Astor asked.

"No," said Ydris. "I only know of..." He blushed, thinking of several prior experiences with his fiance. "A few nightclubs, though I didn't do much drinking there." He'd mostly stuck to Pandorian Ale since coming to Jorvik, enjoying the taste of home that it left on his tongue. Human liquor had never been something that he'd wanted to try, not out of fear but simply because he hadn't wanted anything to do with humanity. Until he'd met his husband-to-be, anyway.

"Damn, and I thought Jay was sheltered," said Astor with a laugh. "Alright, Ez, take us somewhere special."

"Oh, you're gonna love this," said Ezra, grinning like a Cheshire cat as he leaned forward and touched Ydris' knee.

In an instant, they'd teleported to a bar somewhere. Ydris felt dizzy for a moment, then frowned and wondered why. He'd been teleporting around for ages, why was it affecting him this badly now? Perhaps human alcohol was having some kind of an effect on him... but he decided not to dwell on it. He was supposed to be having fun tonight, not fretting. Though, he did wonder how Daine's stag's party was going. He'd heard some things, and hoped that his husband would be okay. Wait, no, not his husband yet. They still had yet to say their vows and exchange rings, though honestly, Ydris had been thinking of Daine as his husband for months now, and had heard his phoenix saying the same about him.

But then, Ezra and Astor were dragging Ydris over to the bar, behind which stood a snappily-dressed bartender with glitter spangled in their pink hair which was styled like a pompadour.

"Evening, gentlemen," the young man said, his eyes twinkling. Ydris recognised the look in his eyes, remembering that the same look directed at Daine made him angry. Astor and Ezra didn't seem to be bothered, though.

"Jerry, hi!" said Astor, leaning across the bar to clasp the bartender's hand. They shook hands and Astor leaned back again, gesturing to Ezra and Ydris. "This is my husband, Ezra, and our future son-in-law, Ydris."

"Son-in-law? Damn, too bad, he's pretty," said the bartender. Ydris felt a flush of pure delight at being noticed by someone of the same gender, though it was followed swiftly by anger. This man had better not try to take him away from his phoenix.

"Yep, it's his stag night," said Ezra. "My son is with his friends, so we decided to take Ydris out."

"This his first time?" the bartender asked, eyes glittering with mirth.

"Honestly? I'm starting to think that it is," said Astor.

"Some human alcohol won't kill him, though," said Ezra. "Alright, breadstick, order something."

"What do they have?" Ydris asked. Jerry pointed to a sign above him, and Ydris scanned the names. There were some... interesting names up there- Bloody Marys, Sex on the Beach, Gin and Tonic, just straight whiskey and vodka, and some fancy cocktails. One name seemed familiar, though. "One pina colada, please." Jerry smiled as he made the drink, Ydris watching with fascination as the drink was poured into the glass complete with a little purple umbrella. Astor and Ezra ordered their drinks, then held up their glasses.

"A toast to the future husbands," said Astor.

"Yes," said Ezra, nodding. They clinked their glasses together, and Ydris took a rather large sip of his drink. It was delicious, tasting of coconut and pineapple along with the distinct tang of alcohol.

"Are there are other sweet drinks like this?" Ydris asked after emptying his glass. He twirled the umbrella between his fingers.

"Of course, humans make a lot of delicious fruity drinks," said Ezra.

"Then I should like to try them all," said Ydris.

"Well, it's my shout," said Astor, mirth gleaming in his eyes. Ezra nodded, knowing that Ydris would be fine. It didn't take much human alcohol to get a Pandorian drunk, but it also didn't take them very long to recover from a hangover. The wedding was to be held in the afternoon, and even then, there were spells and tonics that could be used to cure hangovers.

And so, as the hours passed at the bar, Ydris downed many delicious, flavourful drinks. Some even had little chunks of fruit in them, pineapple and orange and lemon and even some lime and strawberries. He loved these, eating the fruit last and declaring that they were the most delicious things on earth.

As Ydris was declaring his love of fruit and Daine to the world, calling him his dragonfruit, Ezra and Astor laughed behind their hands while filming the tall Pandorian standing on a table with his arms up as if he were giving a sermon. But the laughter stopped when Jerry approached.

"Hey, uh, I'm gonna have to ask him to leave," said Jerry. "Sorry, he's just disturbing the customers." Astor gaped at him in sorrow while Ezra shook his head.

"Sorry," said Ezra. "We'll get him out of here."

"Thanks," said Jerry as Ezra rose from his seat. With his height, Ezra was able to grab Ydris by the waist, pulling Ydris off the table with a yelp from the tall Pandorian.

"You saved me!" Ydris declared, throwing his arms around Ezra. "Oh, just like your son did, thank you!"

"Come on, drunky, let's get you out of here," said Ezra, carrying Ydris over his shoulder. Astor followed, still snickering as he filmed on his phone. Because of how high up he was, Ydris' head bumped one of the chandeliers when he lifted his head to say something. Immediately, he squawked, offended.

"Alright then, little flea, let's dance!" he threatened it, shaking his fist. He brandished his hand, probably meaning to destroy the chandelier, but a silken purple handkerchief flopped out of his purple sleeve instead. Ydris looked at it. "Oh dear, that's never happened before." Immediately, he was in tears. "I truly am a sham! Just a cheap trickster! I can't do any real magic, what was I thinking, I'm a nobody!"

"Alcohol doesn't just affect the libido," Ezra muttered over his shoulder to Astor, who was in tears of laughter.

"Let's get you a coffee or something to sober you up, huh?" said Astor after Ezra set Ydris down inside of Jorvik City Mall. The janitor, who was fastidiously polishing the cafe window while muttering about stupid kids who pressed their faces up to the glass, glanced at them.

"He'd better not throw up on my floor!" the janitor roared, brandishing his spray bottle of window cleaner like a weapon.

"He won't, don't worry," said Astor.

"He swallows," said Ezra, which resulted in Astor almost dropping his phone from how hard he was laughing. But when Astor looked up again, he frowned.

"Where'd breadstick go?" Astor asked. Ezra looked around, immediately looking a little panicked.

"I have no idea," said Ezra. "But we should probably find him, shouldn't we?" Astor nodded.

The two men didn't need to look far, Ydris announcing his presence with a distant but very loud "OH MY GOD I NEED THESE BOOTS!"

Immediately, Astor and Ezra ran up the escalator, ignoring the proper use of it and nearly breaking ankles in their haste to get to Ydris. They fully expected to find him grabbing onto shoes that were on somebody, but instead, they found Ydris with his face pressed to the glass of the Purple Pony's window. Behind the glass was a pair of purple boots.

"They match my shirt," said Ydris, pinching the front of his purple flannel and holding it up against the glass. There was a stain on it from spilling a pina colada on it during the course of the night.

"Alright then, we'll go in and get them," said Astor. To him, they looked like the titular pair of boots from the Kinky Boots musical, but he knew that Ydris would be able to pull them off if anyone could.

"I'm going to wear them to the wedding," said Ydris as he strode inside after scrambling to his feet and almost falling over.

"You are absolutely not going to wear them to the wedding,"s aid Ezra, following him in. But Ydris wasn't listening, already running over to the boots and grabbing them from the display. He sat down right there in the middle of the store and pulled his green boots off, tossing them to the side before he pulled his new boots on. He frowned in confusion when they didn't fit, but then, with a little 'aha', he pulled out the scrunched up paper that was put there to keep the shoe's shape. Once he had them on, he jumped to his feet and grinned.

"Am I sexy?" Ydris asked, turning to look at Ezra. Astor giggled into his hand, still filming.

"Yes," said Ezra flatly. Truthfully, Ydris looked a mess, his purple tophat perched rakishly atop his head, the stain on his flannel, and his jeans were now a little stained from kneeling on the mall floor. The boots did look good, though.

"Yes," said Ydris, grinning. But then, his eyes fell on the miniature version of Silverglade Castle that adorned the middle of the shop. He gasped and ran over to it, leaning over it precariously. Astor jogged over and grabbed the back of Ydris' jacket.

"Please don't throw up in there," said Astor, cringing. But Ydris had no such plans, instead staring at the castle.

"What magic did she use to shrink this?" Ydris asked, awe in his voice. He spun around, wobbling slightly before he clapped eyes on Rin, who stood behind the checkout a little nervously. "Tell me your secrets, please! I excel at growing things, but not at shrinking them."

"I didn't- that's not-" Rin stammered, but then Izzy, her girlfriend and one of Daine's friends, emerged from the stock room and took her girlfriend's hand in her own.

"Don't mind him," said Izzy, patting her hand. "He's Daine's fiance, he's a little drunk."

"Yeah, a little," said Astor with a manic giggle. Izzy rolled her eyes.

"Just get him out of here before some well-meaning good samaritan calls the cops," said Izzy.

"I am so sorry about this," said Astor as he escorted Ydris out.

"No you're not," said Izzy.

"But I must know about the castle! And I didn't pay for the boots!" Ydris called on his way out.

"I'll send you a bill!" Izzy called after him.

"Should you call Daine, do you think?" Rin called, watching them go.

"Hmm, yeah, probably," said Izzy, already getting her phone out.

Outside, Astor and Ezra were gripping tightly to Ydris, trying to stop him from running away.

"We should probably sober him up a little," said Ezra.

"That might be a good idea," said Astor, nodding. "But how?"

"We could dump him in a fountain?" Ezra asked. "That worked for me in Rome."

"Yeah, let's do that," said Astor. "But which fountain?"

"Aideen's Plaza has a fountain, doesn't it?" Ezra asked.

And so, the quiet of Aideen's Plaza at night was broken by the sound of a panicked scream followed by a splash. And then more splashing, along with declarations of "I'm drowning, help!"

"You are not drowning, breadstick," said Astor. "It's, like, four inches of water." At once, Ydris went still, his eyes wide with surprise as his back rested on the bottom of the fountain.

"Oh," said Ydris.

"Yes, oh, you idiot," said Astor. But Ydris was now leaning his head back and gazing up at the stars. They were so pretty, like Daine's wings. His hair curled around his head in the water, but then it suddenly clung to his shoulders as he lurched up and pointed at the statue.

"Hey! I did it first, you bitch!" he slurred, swaying on his feet. He fell again, splashing Astor and Ezra with water.

"What?" Ezra asked, confused. Astor shrugged.

"Beats me," said Astor. "Is he singing?' And, indeed, Ydris was singing, his voice still beautiful despite the many words he slurred or got wrong or repeated or just left out altogether.

Footsteps heralded the arrival of a group of young adults, which almost made Astor want to flee. But instead, he turned and faced them.

"Astor," said Daine, trying to keep his voice level and calm, "why is my husband in the fountain?"

"Sobering up?" Astor tried. But then Ydris lurched up like a sea monster.

"Daniel! Willow! Everyone!" Ydris cried happily, grinning so widely that he looked his age. He scrambled around, eventually hauling his leg up over the edge of the fountain. "Look at my boots! Aren't they sexy?" Willow raised an eyebrow.

"Probably look sexier if they weren't soaking wet," said Willow. And then Ydris laughed, an ugly, loud laugh that echoed around the plaza. Willow found an answering smile coming to her own lips. But she only started laughing too when Ydris slid back down into the water with the most amusing 'sploosh'. And then Willow snorted, and half the group was gone. Jay looked concerned, though smiled at how much his girlfriend was laughing. Even Louisa was amused, though she mostly relished the good humour in the group. Daine's hyena laugh only fed fuel to the flames until everyone's ribs hurt and Willow had rare tears of laughter in her eyes. It took a while to calm down, something setting someone off just when it seemed like they were all fine.

"Can I take him home now?' Daine asked when they'd all eventually calmed down.

"That might be a good idea," said Ezra. "I'll send over some tonics in the morning to help him recover from his hangover."

"Is this what I looked like on the night of the fire hydrants?" Daine asked as he gripped Ydris and hauled him out of the fountain. Ydris stumbled, giggled, and kissed him. Daine pushed him away, almost gagging on the alcohol fumes, but let Ydris hang over his shoulder.

"Yes," said Willow, still smiling.

"Okay, now I'm glad I let you girls convince me to go shopping," said Daine. "I'll just take my husband home now. I hope you two didn't ruin him too much." He gave Astor and Ezra a warning look, which both men merely shrugged at.

"He'll get over it," said Ezra. "Us Pandorians are a good bunch like that."

"Daniel, we must try some fruity drinks," said Ydris as he leaned on Daine's shoulder. Daine raised an eyebrow, looking at his father again.

"Is that how he got so shitfaced?" Daine asked.

"Yes," said Astor. He'd tell Daine about the effects of human alcohol on Pandorians after the wedding. Maybe. If he remembered.

The group only made it to Governor’s Fall, however, before the inebriated magician had to make an emergency stop at a potted plant. Straightening up, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and stumbled over to a bench where he sat with one booted foot up over his knee. He waggled this foot, pursing his lips thoughtfully.

“Are you okay?” Louisa asked, concern widening her eyes. Ydris looked up at the group that stood in front of him.

“I want a burrito,” said Ydris, contorting his mouth as if to enunciate the words.

“Is this place even open?” Willow wondered, squinting at the cafe behind them that looked like it had been closed for ages now.

“I’ll go find out,” said Daine, heading in. Minutes later, he emerged holding a burrito, which he handed to Ydris. Ydris beamed at the group, looking quite proud of himself.

“Maybe some food will soak up the alcohol in his stomach,” said Louisa.

“It fucking better,” said Daine. “Since we’re getting married tomorrow.”

But the night, unfortunately, wasn’t done yet. After declaring the burrito to be delicious, Ydris began spinning around light poles and singing at the top of his lungs about how much he loved Daine. More than a few times, he fell, to be caught by his weary fiance.

“I’m never leaving him alone around Astor and Ezra again,” said Daine.

“Yeah, you will,” said Willow. They were on the bus leaving Jorvik City at last, Ydris passed out on his fiance’s shoulder.

“He looks like he had fun, though,” said Louisa. Daine glared at her.

“If he’s not sober in time for the wedding, Astor’s a dead man,” said Daine.

“You can try, meatball,” said Izzy, her head tipped back against the seat. This wasn’t remotely the way that any of them had expected to spend their night, but that was okay. Things were never boring around Ydris, especially not when Astor was involved.


End file.
